If you watch any TV you will know Pepsi has introduced a special Limited Edition Pepsi for the Holiday season called Pepsi Holiday Spice. I will save you the time now by saying this new Pepsi is the worst soft drink I think I have ever had; I have not have the gravy soda from Jones Soda so I can not say at this time if it is the worst ever made but this new Pepsi is still really bad.

The first few seconds in your mouth the Pepsi Holiday spice soda actually tasks more like Pepsi than crap. The problem is after the first few seconds you get a strong taste of other things. The strongest taste is cinnamon and a little nutmeg. There is another taste I have yet to identify; some people have compared the additional flavoring to pine cleaner. If think you can just drink the soda fast to avoid the bad taste think again because this Holiday Spice Pepsi has the worst aftertaste I have ever tasted. The aftertaste just will not go away several minutes later and it is just as strong. Pepsi Holiday Spice is the gift that just keeps giving in your mouth.

Background:
If you have been reading PervertedGeek’s previous posts, you are aware yesterday was Black Friday, the day retailers offer products below cost to bring consumers to their stores and to officially start the holiday season. While standing in line to checkout at one of the stores I visited, I overheard someone behind me who was talking into a cell phone. Normally I try to not pay attention or overhear what people are talking about on their cell phone however the individual in question was yelling into his cell phone so I am sure half the store heard what he said.

Relevant Facts :

• The store opened at 6:00am
• The guy started talking on the cell phone in the checkout line at 7:47
• The guy started talking on his cell phone seconds after he entered the checkout line
• The guy wanted an LCD monitor of which the ad clearly says only 25 are available
• Based on the price the store was most likely selling the LCD below cost
• While on his cell phone the individual made it clear he had not waited outside for the store to open nor had he arrived when the doors first opened
• There were at least 100 people waiting outside for the store to open

The Story:
By this point you should be wondering what the point of this post is. While on his cell he was talking to someone telling them his disgust for the fact the store had no LCD monitor for him and how the employees at the store had given them out to the people who had arrived to the store earlier than he had; those bastards, how dare the store give out the best deals to the first people who come to the store. That’s right he was upset because the store ran out of an item he wanted even though he must have been the 500th person to arrive at the store and the sale ad clearly stated only 25 were available.

For some people this Friday will be their first time participating in Black Friday. If this is going to be your first time please keep the following in mind.

1) Wear tight clothes. A loose shirt, jacket or scarf can be used to hold you back and slow you down.
2) If you are meek and timid, consider staying at home. BFer's can smell fear.
3) Unless you are immune to pneumonia, wear clothes in layers. It may seem like a good thing to dress really warm when you're standing outside in sub -freezing weather, but once the doors open, you'll be sweating profusely before you can reach the rear of the store.
4) If you want to socialize with the other people in line, don't get too personal. Just remember that in minutes, those same people would just as soon trip you and step on your neck than allow you to have the very last set of Dora the Explorer bed sheets.
5) Don't share your breakfast food with others in line. It will only give them more energy to use against you once in the store. If you must share, make it leftover turkey. The tryptophan it contains will cause sleepiness, making them slow to react.
6) Shop with a friend. That way one of you can run blocker just like in Smokey and the Bandit.
7) Never pick up a sale item and look at the box to decide whether you want it or not. Toss it in the cart! You'll have plenty of time to read, research and decide while standing in line at the checkout. Besides, you can always return it later. Seize the opportunity. Timing is crucial!
8) Unless you absolutely need one, don't take a shopping cart into the store. It will only slow you down.
9) There will be both parents and children out shopping on BF. During your adventure, youll hear crying, weeping and whining. "I have to have that!" "Give it back!" "I had it first!" And then there's the children...
10) Before the big day, as you are staking out the stores and making some advanced purchases, save the security tags. There is always one lady on BF who brags about how she has to buy 36 of the one item you went there for to give to all of her nieces and nephews. Covertly place one or more of these tags on her as the crowds head into the store. the barrage of security when she sets off the alarm at the entrance will slow her and allow you to get to the item first before she takes them all.
11) Carry a bat. Preferably aluminum, since it is lighter. There are always lurkers who sit in their nice warm cars while everyone else is freezing in line. They will try to blend into the crowd when the doors open. The mere presence of such a device will deter them. The bat is also handy to get stock from high shelves, and to lean on while waiting in line at the checkout.
12) Agility can make up for a poor spot in line.
13) Bringing along your spouse and kids will only slow you down.
14) Riot gear, while heavy, bulky and a fashion no-no for most people can be handy if you plan to patronize the likes of Circuit City, Best Buy or Toys 'R' Us on Black Friday.
15) If you're a man, consider wearing a cup. The advantage can far outweigh the disadvantage.
16) Seeing-eye and assistant pets still can't resist bacon.
17) Sending up a distress flare at just the right moment can allow you to gain position in line.
18) Be sure not to wear clothes you don't want snagged or ripped.
19) Defense. Defense. Defense.
20) Above all, enjoy yourself. Its just like fishing. Its not what you are able to catch. Its the thrill of the chase!

While I wish I could take credit for the above list, I cannot. The above is from http://forums.gottadeal.com/showthread.php?t=3952.

Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving and is considered the beginning of the holiday shopping season (despite the fact it really starts the day after Halloween) and is the day everything retailers sell for the rest of the year is profit. It takes most retailers almost eleven months of the year to cover all their expenses for the year but starting Black Friday, with all of their expenses paid for, whatever they make is profit. Most people know retailers do their accounting quarterly so the sales made after Black Friday are not pure profit for the retailers but it gives retailers a good reason to have big sales to start the holiday season. Many times the retailers will have many loss leaders (products sold below cost or in the case of Black Friday significantly below cost) to get people into their stores and do their holiday shopping with them. Some of the sales can cause people to wait outside stores for hours to get an opportunity to buy the sales items. If a store opens at 6am then people will start waiting in line at 12am to among the first in line.

What makes people stand in line for hours to save a few dollars; is their time not worth much? For many of the people Black Friday is not really about saving money (although it is part of it) but rather for entertainment and the excitement that they have a chance to get something for less than what it would normally cost. Most of the people participating in Black Friday have the day off work anyway they are not loosing money for participating in Black Friday rather than going to work. So this upcoming Black Friday have fun, get good deals but make sure to stay out of my way.

It has now been several weeks after the election and Senator Kerry still does understand why he lost. Senator Kerry you lost because you cannot take a stand on anything and people cannot relate to you.

Saying you have a plan is not good enough to get elected as President of the United States. People may not like President Bush but at least everyone knows what to expect from his second term. During your campaign you said you would like to fix the problems is Iraq but never clearly said how you would do it better besides throwing more money at it. You said you want to fix some of the economic problems but never clearly said how you will do it besides saying you had a plan.

Despite what you may think it is not possible to talk of the cell phone, eat your cereal and still drive in a safe and proficient manner, yet someone still believes it is possible. Instead of just calling this guy a dumbass and since I doubt he is the only that has ever tried to it, I have instead decided to write an open letter to Chevy to help resolve the problem of driving safely while talking on a cell phone and eating cereal.

Dear Chevy:

It has come to my attention there is a major feature which is missing from your automotive product line. I request you add bowl holders to your steering wheels. To avoid the bowls from spilling over when a dumbass turns his wheel you will have to add a gyroscope so the bowl remains in level. By adding this key feature to your cars it will become possible for some one to use a spoon with one hand, use a cell phone in the other, steer the vehicle with one leg while accelerating with the other leg.

I understand that adding a bowl holder with a gyroscope will add more cost to the production of the vehicle so to save money I recommend you remove the turn signal since the person diving will not have to free hand to use the turn single and if they actually get off the cell phone or stop eating they will not use the turn signal anyway.

Please add this new key feature as soon as possible for the dumbasses of the world can no longer get by in this world by only being able to do one thing at a time while driving.

Sincerely,
PervertedGeek

Peta has launched a campaign which has the intention to stop people from eating fish. A thought occurred to me that some of the PETA people must be Christians. If they are Christians then they believe in the Bible and the writings contained with it. In the Bible, Jesus the son of God feeds his followers with fish. Therefore, if you are to say eating fish was wrong then you would be going against God and his teachings. How can a good Christian say Jesus the son of God is wrong? Besides if God did not want us to eat fish he would not have made them so tasty and plentiful.

Disney has announced it will make Toy Story 3 without Pixar. For those of you who do not know Pixar was the company behind making the first two Toy Story movies while all Disney had to do with them is promote and distribute them. Disney now believes they can make the next movie all by themselves. Disney does not have the years of experience making CGI animated movies like Pixar nor the talent. Pixar has had several years to build their talent and tweak their custom software. Pixar also has great script writers, Disney better not forget that after people get past the shiny visual effects they expect a good story line. Despite what Disney thinks you cannot hire some artists, writers and buy some off the shelf software and make an animated movie.

It is now clear why Google might have some self-esteem issues. Microsoft is calling Google "more evil than Satan". If you visit Microsoft’s new beta search engine and type in "more evil than Satan" google.com appears first in the search results. Click on Read More/Comments to see snapshoot of the results just incase Microsoft decides to stop calling Google names.

This is a reminder to everyone that the election is over and it is time to remove your candidate signs from your front lawn. No one really cared for who supported before the election and no one cares about who you support now. Do you think you actually swayed anyone’s vote to begin with? It is bad enough to see the signs before the elections but now it is pitiful to see the signs still up. Take down your damn signs.