You know you are having a bad day when you jump out of a perfectly good airplane you go get your legs cut off by the same plane you just jumped out of and you thought you were having a bad day.

I was at the grocery store today and as I was going through the produce section, I went past the potatoes. There were the white ones, the yellow ones, the red ones, the microwave ones, and the foil ones. Wait did I just say the microwave ones and the foil ones?

The microwave potatoes sure did look like a regular Idaho potato that I can buy by the sack full for significantly less. So I inquired further, upon closer examination, the only difference was the microwave potato is it is pre-washed and wrapped in shrink wrap. Are people so fucking lazy they are willing to spend more money on a potato so they do not have to spend the five seconds it takes to wash a potato before sticking it in the microwave? By the simple fact that they sell these pre-washed microwave potatoes it means that there must be a market for them somewhere. How fucking lazy does an individual have to be that, they cannot spend a few seconds washing a potato? Click on Read More / Comments for the rest of this rant.

In an ideal world, people would never have to wait in lines and they would be served immediately. However, we do not live in an ideal world and people do have to wait in line for their turn for a customer service representative to help them. Nobody likes waiting in line and customer service representatives in general do not find enjoyment in finding ways for customers to have to wait in line longer than they have to. No, there is nothing they can do to which will get you through the line faster. They are trying to serve each customer as fast as they can. Your complaining will not help anything and will only make the other people in line behind you to wait longer. Click on Read More / Comments for the rest of this rant.

People will bitch and complain about anything. They will find the tiniest thing and complain about it even if it does not really affect the outcome of larger issue at hand. If you receive a letter in the mail and you call the company who sent it to complain, then you should have a valid point before you start to complain. If the company representative says you will not be charged and can disregard the letter then let it go. Do not keep complaining about the fine print of the letter when you are told you can disregard the letter. If you are going to continue to complain you should have some kind of resolution in mind of what you want done in regards to your complaint. When the company representative asks what they can you do for you after listening to you complain for several minutes do NOT just hang up. It is understandable you that there times when everyone wants to complain about something, hell most of this rant is just one long complain, but if you are going to complain do NOT complain to an over-worked, under-paid company representative and then have no idea what you want them to do for you so you just hang up.

Today the Washington Post printed and article about companies that take movies and "clean" them by taking out the parts that involve sexuality, violence, crude language or anything else that might be considered objectionable. One such movie that these companies have made "family friendly" is Saving Private Ryan so I started thinking and after you take out the blood and gore, you end up with about a 15 minutes long movie.

I always wondered how you could make Open Water an even worse excuse for a movie, well they figured it out by cutting out the one titty shot and cutting out the end were they die. So you are left with a movie with people in the hotel, then the boat, then floating in the water for most of the movie and then the credits start rolling. What a crappy that movie that would be, well I mean crappier than the unedited version. Click on Read More/Comments to read the rest of this rant.

Another week down and another Tuesday is approaching and with that is new movies released to DVD.

Meet the Fockers – As the name of the movie may imply the whole movie is nothing more than one long sex joke. Do not get me wrong I enjoyed Harold and Kumar go to White Castle but when a movie only has one sex joke and keeps reusing it over and over again, I cannot review the movie in a positive light. If you really enjoyed Meet the Parents then do not bother watching the sequel because it will ruin the first the movie for you. The movie starts out good and for the first 10 minutes I enjoyed the movie however as soon as I met the Fockers I just wanted the movie to hurry up and end. If you decide to watch this movie do yourself a favor and do not watch the extended version, this way the movie will not only end sooner but you also will avoid watching the extra scenes that do not belong in the movie. The extended version of Meet the Fockers includes many scenes that were not in the theatrical version because they do not belong in the movie, There should not be and extended version instead the scenes but the extended version should just be included in the deleted scenes reel.

Primer – Primer is about four guys who create a machine that can change the world forever. This movie is not intended for the largest audience possible due to the fact it actually makes you think. If you want a movie that will allow to kick back and relax this is not the movie for you but if you want a movie that will cause you think about time and space in a whole new way this is a must see movie. Primer will completely challenge you thinking about time paradoxes. This movie lacks any special affects or sudden movement and instead forces you to draw your complete attention to what you are watching, which while I know is a total departure from most of the movies created today is what makes this movie refreshing and enjoyable.

Tomorrow is Tuesday and with every Tuesday comes new movies to buy. PervertedGeek would like to take the time and review each movie however PervertedGeek does not have the time to write a review for each one and it is doubtful you would even read the entire review. Therefore, here are a few comments on each movie coming out on Tuesday that PervertedGeek has watched.

Hotel Rwanda – This movie is about how one guy tried to shelter people in his hotel during the Rwanda genocide in 1994. If you like to see how one guy can make a difference or how the UN is a bunch of worthless cowards then you will like this movie.

The Woodsman – This movie while only rated PG-13 is not to be seen by children or teenagers. This movie is very disturbing movie about a character named Walter who after being released from prison tries to start his life over however he is haunted by his awful past. To say this movie is disturbing would be putting it mildly. Kevin Bacon does an excellent job, one of his best performances.

Ocean’s Twelve – Unless you have seen Ocean’s Eleven you will not be able to follow the Ocean’s Twelve. It is assumed you know who everyone is and there is no character development. The movie skips and jumps around and when you think the movie is following one train of thought it starts to skip again. I had a hard time keeping track of what was going and on and since I did not see the first movie I had no idea who anyone was or how anything tied together.

Suspect Zero – This movie made no sense to me and I think the reason for this is brcause the entire time I was watching the movie I just wanted the damn thing to end. I tried following this movie and I had no idea what was going on. From what I could tell this movie was nothing more than an FBI agent has a troubles passed and now he must capture someone that was set free years earlier because of his mistake.

Why must seemingly nice people be such fucking scumbags? All theses scumbags do is make everyone’s life harder and cause people and companies to loose money.

Let’s take for example check fraud.
Why must people write checks they know will bounce and in the end cause businesses to loose money forcing them to raise their prices? When a person writes a bad check, the check will bounce and the business will not get the amount the check was written for. On top of that it gives them more things to deal with when the check bounces increasing their labor hours. It is a little understandable (only a little) when someone writes one check in good faith that the check will not bounce, however when someone goes from store to store writing bad checks they can burn in hell. For those who have intentionally tried to scam a business you can die a slow painful death.

If you ever wonder why you have to provide a drivers license to write a check and why many businesses will not take checks above certain amount it is because at some point they were scammed and someone wrote them a bad check causing them to loose money so to protect them everyone must face the consequences. So if you know someone who passes bad checks, do the world a favor and beat the shit out of them.

My girlfriend asked me last night why I have not taken her to any expensive places recently so I said fine we'll have a night on the town and I will take you to one of the most expensive places in town.

I took her to the corner gas station.

Archaeologist is believed to have found the oldest porn statue in the world.

"Stone-age figurines depicting what could be the oldest pornographic scene in the world have been unearthed in Germany.

Archaeologists have discovered what they believe to be the 7,200-year-old remnants of a man having intercourse with a woman."