For PervertedGeek’s next bargain bin movie review we have "The first $20 million". The original title of the movie was "The first $20 million is always the hardest" which is a little ironic seeing as this movie only made $5,491 in the box office. The question that must be raised is which two theaters actually played this movie so it could make any money. To save you time from reading the rest of this movie PervertedGeek gives this movie a rating of dumpster. This movie should never have been made. I have no idea who thought this movie actually thought it was a good idea.

Andy (Adam Garcia) is a marketing executive who decides he no longer wants his high paying job and trophy girlfriend so he leaves his job and joins a tech think-tank at a place called La Honda. Why Honda did not sue Fox for using this name I have no idea but I am guessing it is because only about five people in the world ever saw the movie. I have serious doubts that the director even saw the movie. Was there even a director for this movie? According to the DVD box there was a director but I still have my doubts.

At La Honda Andy is assigned to lead a project to create a $99 computer. His is assigned three people to work with him and surprise they are all misfits that must come together to create the $99 computer. Of course they come together to create a $99 computer which uses 3-D holograms and is shaped like a big dildo. The entire movie has constant sexual innuendo. Here’s just a small list:

• Tiny makes clay boobies and falls asleep fondling them.
• The security guard at Just Everywhere fondles his nightstick as he escorts Andy out of a building.
• On Andy’s first date with Alisa he pulls her panties out of her microwave and she proceeds to put them on in front. By the moan Andy made as she put them on I am almost certain he creamed his pants.
• A mystery girl uses phallic imagery with a doughnut in front of Tiny.
• Tiny stares at mystery girl’s boobies which are popping out when he first meets her.
• Alisa's boobies jiggle as almost to defy gravity throughout the movie.
• Tiny has a holographic stripper the keeps saying "Ride me cowboy"
• Salman says "My girlfriend calls me Robin Hood; It’s a double entendre. I’m uncircumcised.
• Andy sends his ex-girlfriend a used diaphragm in the mail.
• Alisa air dries her panties in front of tuba players
• Alisa creates a turd sculpture – I don’t want to know what was on her mind
• During a conga line Andy brushes man ass as he leaves the conga line
• Andy first meets Alisa when she is showering.
• One scene has way too much gratuitous man ass in hot tub.
• Another scene has a line of man ass as Andy and his team walks by to get to their lab. What is with this movie and man ass?
• Tiny creates a dry erase marker girlfriend on his hand and then says "I love you, Tiny. I love you"

This movie is so bad the subtitler stopped trying halfway through the movie. He left out whole lines of the dialogue and stopped trying to spell out every grunt and moan the characters made. No one will ever notice besides me and one other person in the world seeing as how only five people have ever seen the movie to begin with and the fifth guy stumbled into the theater went what the hell is this and left. How did this movie make $5,000 when it was in the theater?

To make a movie as bad as "The first $20 million" takes real talent. I don’t think anyone could accidentally make a movie as bad as this one. The only thing this movie has going for it is Tiny (Ethan Suplee). Tiny and his little moped is awesome. If the movie only had Tiny it would have been better. Andy on the other hand contributed nothing to the movie. The only thing this movie and reality have in common is both Andy and most marketing executives are worthless.

The DVD copies of this movie should not only be thrown in a dumpster but burned and buried so no one has to ever go through the experience watching this movie. If you have actually seen this movie I pity you.