I watch lots of movies every week. I no longer watch much TV; whenever I am home I have a DVD playing. Before I watch a movie and usually after I have already bought the movie I visit rottentomatoes.com to see what the critics though of the movie. After sometime I have concluded that when most critics watch a movie they always treat it and review it like a real movie. A large number of movies, most of them classified as comedies, are not real movies and should not be treated as such.

No one can tell me movies like Rocky and Bullwinkle, Evolution, Josie and the Pussy Cats, Ernest goes to Jail, Ernest in the Army, Mystery Men, Toys, High School High, Sugar and Spice, Zoolander and Fat Albert to name a few should be considered a real movie and therefore be held to the same level of standards as real movies such as Shawn of the Dead. Click on Readmore/Comments for rest of this rant...

Many of these movies even make fun of themselves such as Rocky and Bullwinkle:
Judge Cameo: The defendants are charged with grand theft auto: 1 count; breaking out of jail: 1 count; impugning the character of a prison guard: 1 count; reckless driving: 4 counts; talking to the audience; five counts; criminally bad punning: 18 counts.
Bullwinkle J. Moose: And three dukes and seven earls. Ha ha ha ha.
Judge Cameo: Make that 19.

These non-movies are created for people to sit back laugh and just enjoy it while not having to keep track of who the characters are what their role is and if you forget what happened ten minutes earlier in the movie you are not totally lost as to what is going on. These movies are not supposed to win any awards or acclaims they are there to entertain. At least for Sugar and Spice Roger Ebert treated like not a real movie and called it “Saucy�. Maybe it is time for these to be awards for just non-movies. Maybe finally Ben Stiller will win an award (and no an Emmy does not count).

So to all the movie critics in the world I say lighten up, sit back and just laugh for a minute and if anyone can tell me what Mystery Men was about please tell me because while it had funny moments and I enjoyed the movie, I have not idea what was going on most of the time. Don’t get me wrong Mystery Men is still better than Napoleon Dynamite but still the whole time I was watching Mystery Men, I kept seeing Pee-Wee and I kept wondering where Jambi was going to pop out from. For this very reason the movie cannot be taken seriously. Well that and any movie with Ben Stiller in it cannot be considered a real movie and as evidence of this I bring to you the movie Envy. Even when you consider Envy not a real movie it is still bad. Even when you consider Envy and a non-movie it is still bad.

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