In the past few months I have seen a numerous movies including Paparazzi, Cellular, the Cookout, Catwoman, Shark Tales, Alien vs. Predator, First Daughter, Welcome to Mouseport, Envy, Judgment, High School High, Ernest in the Army, Shaft in Africa, Tigerland and what I thought was the worst movie of them all The Notebook. When I would watch movies, I could at least say, “Well at least it is not as bad as the other movies I have seen recently. Hell, compared to the movies I listed above, The first $20 million is a good movie and Hackers is a great movie.

That is until I tried to watch the Harry Potter movies. I tried watching the first one and I could not even get through the entire movie. All I could think about is “abra why the hell won’t this endus�; the movie just kept going. I made it though the fist hour and a half and all the movie had was a bunch of short bits ala Monty Python and the Meaning of Life sans the comedy. It takes almost an hour and a half to establish a plot. I managed to make watch the entire Notebook but I was unable to watch the entire first Harry Potter movie and I hate romance movies (they are all the same damn movie with different actors doing and saying the same damn thing).

So I stopped watching the first Harry Potter movie and decided to watch the third Harry Potter movie, the reason I skipped the second one was because I was hopping by the third movie Hermione had grown up to be like Lindsay Lohan in the Harry Potter SNL skit she was part of. Imagine my disappointment when I start watching the movie and Hermione looks like a fourteen year old.

After I got past my disappointment, I decided I could at least attempt to watch the entire movie I mean I did make it though The Notebook so I should be able to make it though at least one Harry Potter movie. I was wrong, an hour into the movie I gave up. The biggest problem I had with the third Harry Potter besides no eye candy is that you could tell what scenes we filmed first and which ones were filmed last because the actors kept looking older then younger then older. At the beginning of the movie, they look much older than the looked forty minutes into the movie and no, they were not having a flash back.

In total, I lost two and half hours of my life that I can never get back. Just about the only thing that could get me to watch another Harry Potter movie, is if there was some softcore porn which I doubt will ever happen.